Everything changes … Now What?
This Thanksgiving Holiday weekend held a lot of ‘firsts’ for me.
- The first time in years I haven’t hosted the party at my house
- The first time I went to the beach for a morning meditation (thanks Shantel Springer for the invitation)
- The first time all I had to cook was turkey, stuffing and brussell sprouts (to be eaten at my sister’s house later that day, Thanks Susan!)
- The first time I spent most of the day simply relaxing, watching the parade and going to the park with my kids without concern for time pressure and making sure I got everything done before guests arrived.
- The first time my son hosted his own Thanksgiving, and
- The first time I realized that my wonderful, self-sufficient children are just that … independent, creating their lives as they wish, loving life and all of the exciting possibilities and experiences that lie ahead … all without Mom!
A wide range of thoughts and feelings comes over me as I experience this new phase of my life and without judging them good or bad — all I can say is IT’S WEIRD! Weird that when I drive through the neighborhood where my son now lives and see moms pushing babies in strollers I think “That’s me … no wait – it’s not.” Weird to acknowledge this next level of relationship with my children, where rather than being part of each other’s day to day activities, we connect, catch up and fill each other in on what we’ve been doing. Again — not good or bad, just weird!
In this new phase I realize that I’ve got some extra time and space. I suppose some parents plan for this and know exactly what they’ll do with the kid’s bedrooms, etc. but for me, I hadn’t really thought about it before, so it’s time to open up, begin dreaming and changing things up a bit. This week I’m clearing the clutter and moving furniture around and am excited about the new office space I’ll be working from.
Here are a few things I’ve observed about this transitional time, that I believe applies to all types of changes and transitions that we experience.
- Change happens — the quality of our lives is determined by how we choose to respond and experience the change. We can either resist it, wish for things to be like they used to be and experience a myriad of negative and unpleasant feelings — or we can accept the changes and allow ourselves to experience the change as it unfolds.
- Being able to stay open and receptive to what comes next requires having faith and a constant attitude of gratitude.
- Allow yourself to experience your emotions during times of change and transition — without letting yourself to get stuck in the muck. For the past 3 days I have been relaxing, laughing and spending quality time with family and friends. This morning I awoke with an overwhelming sense of happiness and joy. Then I took a trip down memory lane, spending time going through some of my old LP records (Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, Grateful Dead, Joni Mitchell — that was fun!) with my daughter so she could take them back to college with her. Then … BAM! all of a sudden I was saying goodbye to her and tears were rolling down my cheeks. My 6 year old grandson was feeling it too and said “I’m so sad, I’m gonna miss Geeg” — verbalizing exactly what I was feeling. Rather than allowing my logical mind to take over at that moment and say something like “Don’t be sad”, I said “I know, I’m sad too.” We drove a few blocks and just allowed those feelings and then before you know it, we were singing a song and enjoying each other in that moment. As I recalled how happy I was in the morning and then sad and then happy again, I marveled at just how weird this phase is!
- Stay alert and aware and consciously create what you truly want in the face and space of change. You’ve heard the phrase “out with the old, in with the new” — remember that nature abhors a vacuum and it is up to you to fill the new space with what you really want rather than allowing it to be filled by default.
Are you going through transition? They come in all shapes and sizes, everything from the empty nest phenomenon, career changes, divorce or separation, becoming a parent, a grandparent, kids going off to kindergarten, illness, difficult bosses or co-workers, etc. Yes, the list can go on and on, because changes go on and on. I know that I for one, would get bored if everything stayed the same. I am grateful to have the knowledge, awareness and tools that support me in going through changes from a space of excitement and enthusiasm.
This time of year is often a time of reflection and creation. I’ve put together some of my personal tools and resources to support you in going through change and transition and creating your amazing life. 2013 is just around the corner … let’s make it a year filled with all the stuff dreams are made of!
Daily Practices to Create the Life of Your Dreams! Journal Prompts to Inspire Creativity CLICK HERE
Receiving Your Riches, 30 Day Self-Guided Course CLICK HERE